list of qoutes {in progress}

• you are one of my bestest friends... and that's why I have 911 on speed dial.
• If toast lands butter-side down and cats land on their feet, what happens when you strap a piece of toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
• Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor the devil says "Oh crap. She's up!"
• Be the change you wish to see in the world.
• Who needs drugs? I go broke on books.
• We're the type of friends that don't know why their laughing so we laugh harder.
• I didn't hit you, I high-fived your face.
• A computer once beat me at a game of chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing.
• I noticed that everybody who is for abortion has already been born.
• Frogs are cool. they go RIBBIT.
• By the time you finish reading this you realize you have wasted 5 seconds of your life.
• Hobos can't use calculators because mice can't drive potatoes that crush houses, DANG IT! We're having salad for dinner, I hate crab...
• Mess with me fine I can handle it. Mess with my friends, and you WILL bleed.
• Don't play stupid with me. I always win.
• Sometimes you just need to dance down the aisles of the grocery store.
• I'm the girl who can watch tons of horror movies and not get scared, but scream at the top of my lungs when toast pops out of the toaster.
• tlk t0 m3 l!3k th!5... And I'll shoot you in the face.
• my imaginary Friends think you have serious problems...
• I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.
• HAHA. wait what?
• knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
• I'm not random you just can't think as fast as me.
• Just so you know. If an ugly guy was ever hitting on you I'd pretend to be your lesbian lover.
• I smile cause I have no Idea whats going on. :)
• When i die I want to go peacefully like my grandpa did, in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
• Friends will help you when you fall. Best friends will laugh and say "Walk much, smart one?"
• Caution: This sign has SHARP EDGES do not touch the edges of this sign. Also the bridge is out ahead.
• Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
• EVERYONE has a WILD side but me and my girls PREFER to make ours Public
• It's not about the ones who act true to you face; it's about the ones who REMAIN true BEHIND YOUR BACK
• who is this 'life' and why does he throwing lemons at people? It probably hurts.
• A guy walks into a bar... ouch.
• I love to laugh at boys who get hurt while trying to impress girls.
• THINK! it's not illegal yet.
• Sometimes I think "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" And then it hits me
• Okay so... theres this thing called retarded-ness and me & my girls well... we've gone pro.
• NEVER underestimate the crazyness of VERY bored teenage girls... EVER!
• I promise never to confuse you by making sense.
• Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that say" warning may cause drowsiness?
• A good friend comforts you when he rejects you, but a best friend will walk up to him & say; "It's because your gay isn't it?"
• Things to do at walmart #3 climb on top of one of the shelves and declare yourself king/queen of walmart.(when your arrested do not blame this quote.)
• Life's a BITCH 'cause if it were a SLUT it'd be EASY.
• Yes you have the right to your opinoin and I have the right to think you're stupid.
• GOOD FRIENDS help you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS are on the floor with you, laughing at you.
• CAUTION: water on road during rain.
• Crazy people are just more fun.
• Dehydrated water: just add water!!!
• never take anyone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might make up one day and realize you've lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.
• It's not that chocolate is a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. And lets face it. Chocolate is far more reliable than any man.
• If zombies attack and you trip me I;m coming after you in the next life.
• Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift. that's why they call it the present
• Jonas Brothers' Music: the number one cause of brain cancer.
• Things to do at walmart #140: Stand in front of the doors and tell People to inter through the exit doors because it's opposite day.
• Things to do at walmart # 50: Ask a teen male employee if he can show you the tampons.